How can you be positive? Is it even possible? Not everyone has mastered positive thinking, but it can be learnt. Today especially, we should at least try. The media bombard us with bad news and disaster scenarios. Friends complain all the time, and your partner is constantly tired and on edge. Colleagues see only the bad side of the company you work for. It is not easy to avoid negativity and overcome it with positive thoughts. At the end of the article, you will find 10 tips on how to become more positive in the best sense of the word.
Table of contents
Positive thinking, what does it mean?
Positive thinking is not just for optimists. It is basically a way of thinking that we can learn. We can practise it. It is an approach, a method, an attitude, a way of reasoning. We can look at it from both a mental and an emotional angle. It is your choice whether to take things negatively or positively. When you master positive thinking, you can always see the bright side of things and you do not give in to negativity.
A common misconception: In theory, you could say that positive thinking is simply taking everything with a smile, "full stop". But this approach goes much deeper than it seems.
It is hard to say why we tend to see everything in such a “dark” light. Perhaps it comes from the way humanity has developed, or perhaps it is because there is more and more negativity around us. Either way, it is important to find the right balance among the factors that affect us. Every day we unconsciously absorb negativity and then we often come home tired and irritable without even knowing why.
So what do we do when we learn to think positively?
- In life’s trials, we try to see valuable lessons
- In problems, we look for opportunities
- We do not imagine negative scenarios in advance, we look forward to good outcomes
- We are not afraid to try new things, and we see failure simply as new possibilities
- No journey ever ends for us, the journey itself is the goal
- We can turn what happens to us to our advantage
What does not belong in positive thinking?
- I can’t do it, so I’d better not even try!”
- “This won’t end well!”
- “It didn’t work out again, I’m useless, I’m never going back!”
- “I’m unlucky, bad things only happen to me, nothing ever goes right for me!”
- “This is terrible, nothing can be done about it, we can’t change it!”
- “I won’t look for true friendship, other people won’t accept me anyway!”
- “He broke up with me because I’m fat and useless!”
- “I’m not good enough to get a university degree!”
It does not matter what area of life it is or what we say. If we give up on things in advance rather than risk failure, we are doing the exact opposite of positive thinking. Setbacks and problems swallow us up and put us off new experiences. We see ourselves as incapable. We condemn all future efforts to failure from the start. We cannot sort through the information that reaches us, and all of it stresses us out.
Positive thinking teaches us to defend ourselves against these influences. And not only external ones. Negative factors often come from within us too. They are doubts, feelings of inferiority, a lack of self-reflection. We tend to let ourselves be swayed by the idea that the world is dangerous and that we are not good enough. Of course, there are things that cannot be taken positively. But it is good to learn to recognise when we have a choice between sinking into depression and handling the situation calmly.
Tip: Take a look at our article on how to calm your nerves.
Positive thinking does not mean pretending the sun is shining when it is sleeting outside
People often misunderstand positive thinking. It is not about always being in a great mood and taking everything with a smile. If you get fired because you spend all day browsing the internet looking up the meaning of “positive thinking”, laughing it off is not appropriate. It is a serious situation that needs to be dealt with. However, mastering the art of positive thinking will help you not to “fall apart” over it.
It is an approach to life that helps you protect yourself against depression and stress. It is a way of training our brain to assess things rationally and calmly. So that it does not react to news of a terrorist attack in France by locking you in your flat with a year’s supply of food and some kind of weapon. Or by making you sink into depression and never travel anywhere again.
Important: Thinking positively does not mean "kidding yourself"!
Automatically accepting negative influences causes us long-term problems. People who cannot see anything positively sink into apathy and lose their zest for life. Try to imagine that everything happening around you is only bad and terrible. You would not want to live in such a world. Negative-minded people lose their zest for life. They see no point in anything and cannot look forward to anything. That is why it is important to learn to defend yourself against it.
A good book can bring you closer to positive thinking
Of course, it is not just a matter of buying good books, “burying” yourself in them for a month and then knowing how to do it. It is mental work. It is about training your thoughts, setting your mind and regular practice, which teaches the brain to accept new things as automatic. But you have to start somewhere. Because this topic is very popular, you can find many good books on the subject.
Positive thinking is very much about how you look at the things that happen to you. It is certainly not the case that a positive person is someone who has an easy life, or vice versa. It is about our outlook and attitude, which need to be practised, as you will also discover from the books listed below.
3 tips, great books on positive thinking
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson 2017
- Positive Thinking: How to Change Your Attitude and Look at Life Optimistically, Sue Hadfield 2013
- Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, Martin E.P. Seligman 2013
How can you maintain positive thinking?
It is not just about, “simply learning” positive thinking. It is important to be able to maintain it. Above all in the most difficult moments, because that is when it shows how diligently you have practised. Staying optimistic when your freshly styled hair gets soaked and you step into a puddle in your court shoes is not that hard. But try to keep it up when you lose your job, your car breaks down and your boyfriend leaves you.
For your information: Optimism is not "a hippie with a flower on their head", just someone who does not fall off the bridge before even stepping onto it.
So when we really set out on the path of positive thinking, we also have to accept that it needs constant practice and strengthening. It can very easily happen that you learn it all and manage it in everyday situations. But then a period of constant pressure and stress comes along, and you find you cannot hold on to even a shred of a positive attitude. And this knocks you down even more, because you thought you were ready for anything.
This is, among other things, the downside of positive thinking. For one thing, a setback can hit you even harder, because your own efforts have let you down. And for another, you may lose the ability to judge when a situation really is bad. Last but not least, it is worth mentioning that this topic has become heavily promoted, and this often leads you to misunderstand the approach.
Today, all the media show us slogans about how we should be happy, cheerful and positive. But that is not always possible, and it is not always appropriate. It is good to always take a realistic and measured view of the situation we are in and to accept that sometimes it cannot be done without those negative factors. It is good to be able to accept them too, because then we do not try to live in a world “without a cloud in the sky”, which is deceptive.
10 tips, how to develop and maintain positive thinking
We know what it means, what the pitfalls are and that it needs to be practised. So how can we learn positive thinking and how can we maintain it? Here are our 10 best tips:
1. Meditation, and more meditation
You have probably read it everywhere, but it is simply true. When we talk about personal growth, we are almost always talking about meditation. It does not always have to mean sitting cross-legged and chanting that magical “om”. You can also think of meditation as pausing and looking for calm. To begin with, it is enough to learn to find a brief moment in today’s hustle and bustle to “stop”. Take a quiet walk in nature. Sit in the grass, just breathe and let your thoughts flow freely. This teaches the brain a certain calm. For positive thinking, this matters because you get to know yourself and discover that some things really do not need to be dwelt on or blown out of proportion.
2. Books that can lift your mood or give advice
As we mentioned above, there are books on the market that can steer you towards positive thinking. You will find books that give direct advice on how to do it. Or stories of others who have found their own path to positive thinking. You do not have to follow other people’s advice strictly, but it will often point you in the right direction. Then you can choose what suits you.
3. Filter the information that reaches you
I am not saying “be blind”, I am saying “choose carefully”! It is different when you listen to the news every day and fall apart over every piece of information than when you choose what you want to hear and how to take it. It is certainly not good to shut yourself off and ignore everything as if nothing were happening anywhere. Things are happening! And they always will be. But you can choose what information you take in and how you respond to it. It is also worth remembering that the information the media give us is heavily shaped for a specific purpose. Always try to listen to your instinct and common sense, and do not believe everything you hear.
4. Filter the people around you
It may sound a little shallow, but it is more a way of protecting yourself. Just as you should choose what you read and watch on television, you should also think carefully about who you spend time with. Unfortunately, there are people who only “drain” us, and nothing good will come from them. There are also people who do nothing but complain. Everything that happens to them is terrible, bad, awful and so on. If you listen to someone like that every day, you will soon find that you see things just as negatively.
5. Affirmations, say it positively!
It has been said many times that affirmations can do more than we think. Do not get up in the morning thinking that everything is pointless. For once, try getting up with the sentence: “Today is going to be a really nice day and I am going to feel good.” When someone annoys you, do not let yourself get dragged straight into a fight. Try telling yourself: “Well, he just slept badly, but I had a great night.” Try telling yourself how lovely the day is and how great or amazing you are. How good your mood is and how well things are going for you.
6. Practise “giving your brain orders”
It is a bit strange, but our brain sometimes tends to do whatever it wants. It has its own set thoughts and reactions. And that is not exactly productive, because it tends to think negatively and defensively. Treat it as an exercise. Try setting yourself, for example, 3 positive affirmations. Repeat them every morning until it becomes your ritual. Your brain will learn something new and automatic.
“Even thinking is sometimes bad for your health.”
Aristotle, Greek philosopher
7. A gratitude list
This is again a bit of a cliché, like meditation. We hear it often. But it really works. Try making a list of what you are grateful for. Or set aside a nice notebook for it. It does not matter whether you do it daily or now and then, but do make sure you tell yourself what you are grateful for. Do you have healthy children? Do you have a good partner? Do you have friends? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have enough to eat? Can you treat yourself whenever you like? Do you have a car that works? Great! Then you really have no reason to be negative. Because millions of people around the world simply do not have these things. It will help you see things in a better light. At the very least, you will say to yourself: “Oh, I am not doing badly at all, actually nothing is wrong.”
8. Nature, little things and laughter
Life today is incredibly hectic. We all have our list of duties and we all have time slots for this or that. How can you stay calm and above it all on this merry-go-round? Fewer and fewer people go out into nature or take pleasure in little things. Try setting up regular walks in nature. You do not have to start jogging straight away, own the latest leggings and break time records. It is not about constantly looking for a reason and a purpose. Just go and breathe, and reflect. Slow down! Try stepping in a puddle or picking flowers, and do not mind getting muddy or wet. It does not matter what, but try to enjoy little things the way children can. There is no reason for us to lose that ability.
9. A list of achievements
Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are great just as we are. We often forget it. We see all those successful Instagram accounts and the chase for followers. We are not as beautiful, slim, famous or rich. Maybe not, but we have forgotten that nobody expects that of us and that nobody has defined what beauty and wealth are. Each of us has our own beauty and success. Make a list where you note how well your cooking turned out. How you went for a walk in the woods. How good you looked. You will see that it works wonders for your positive attitude.
If you find it hard to define your achievements and goals, be sure to read our article with 7 tips on how to achieve success.
10. Lower your expectations of yourself
This may be one of the most important points today. We all put pressure on ourselves, because the people around us put pressure on us and on those around them, and we then put pressure on those around us, and so it goes round and round. Everyone is pushing everyone. Without even realising it, we are constantly stressed. We must be like this, we must get that done, we must do this. It is basically the perfect environment for creating stress and negativity. You can never live up to everything and get everything done, and because of that we become “one big negative”. Frustrated, angry, anxious. Yet all it takes is to focus on reasonable needs and necessities and stop chasing lists. Try easing off your expectations a little, and you will see that other things will seem better too, or at least less awful. ?
How to stay positive in hectic times?
However, there are many more things you can do to avoid giving in to negative influences. The foundation of it all is to treat it as a life goal, a lifestyle. If we wash down a stressful working day with a glass of wine, we have not learnt anything. Like many things in today’s article, this is also a cliché, but the truth is that a healthy lifestyle is the foundation.
Our body only gives us what we give it. It has already been shown that when a person lives healthily and tries to exercise, their brain works better. This is linked to our ability to assess the situations we find ourselves in correctly. So if we want to be generally positive and at ease, we must start with what we eat and whether we move. Heavy meals disrupt sleep. Poor sleep, in turn, leads to depression. And what is depression? Certainly not positive thinking.
So start with simpler and healthier food. Vegetables and pulses are very cheap and great for our body. Cut down on alcohol and try to get outside more. Your brain will respond very quickly. You will feel the change within a few days. And the rest is just a few small steps you can manage along the way. Eat healthily, exercise, speak kindly to yourself and choose the people and news that reach you. As a start, it is very little and more than effective.
