We all lie now and then, but what a so-called pathological liar can pull off goes far beyond any idea of the “occasional twisting of the truth” by an ordinary person. There is a huge difference between someone who embellishes the truth from time to time to seem more interesting and a person whose pathological lying extends to the most trivial situations of everyday life. We can call these people pathological, chronic or compulsive liars. A more colloquial term that has caught on is fabulist.
A typical pathological liar can make up:
- How much they spent on lunch at a restaurant,
- How much they paid for clothes (×3),
- When they last bathed their dog,
- Whether they took a bag of rubbish out of the car boot,
- Whether they picked up clothes from the dry cleaner’s before or after work.
Unimportant trivia, you might think? Not for a pathological liar. They live in the belief that every single sentence has a strategic impact on their life. That is why they make things up and try to improve how others see them. Every minute of every day, they think about how to lie their way out of particular situations, often without realising it at all.
🎓 Did you know? A pathological liar does not have their feet firmly on the ground and genuinely believes the untruths they tell. Most often, they turn to lies to boost their battered self-esteem and improve their social status.
Spend 5 minutes on this article and find out how to get inside a pathological liar’s head. Do you want to learn how to catch a liar out? I will show you how.
💡 Tip: A pathological liar should start by reading books on personal growth and self-knowledge. They first need to admit the problem, and only then deal with it.
Table of contents
The Fabulist’s Learning Corner, let’s understand the nature of pathological lying!
Don’t worry, I won’t bore you to death with dry facts! Let’s share some juicy gossip about lying, and you may even recognise yourself in some of it.
🗣️ Psychologists put you in the picture with these words: Pathological lying, also known as mythomania, is a chronic compulsion to tell untruths even in trivial situations where nothing is at stake. For these people, chronic lying is like an uncontrollable addiction and is deeply rooted. Unlike a white lie, which is meant to protect the other person’s feelings and avoid hurting them, chronic lying seems to arise for no obvious reason. That is exactly why it is very difficult to catch such a liar out and to find the right way to behave when you come across someone like this.
Pathological liars may or may not have easily identifiable reasons for lying, but some experts speak of a kind of “urge”. Alongside the well-known causes of chronic lying, such as:
- The desire to come out of a situation as the hero,
- The desire to win other people’s liking,
- The desire to earn other people’s sympathy,
- The desire to avoid being told off for a mistake,
there are also less researched causes, which are purely neurological. According to psychiatrists, those who may turn to pathological lying include people who:
- Have suffered brain damage, for example in an accident,
- Have had tick-borne encephalitis,
- Have antisocial personality disorder (so-called sociopaths),
- Show abnormalities in cortisol levels.
All roads lead to the liar, or “What other terms are related to lying?”
Pathological liar is a technical term that actually appears in psychology textbooks. On the subject of “truth and lies”, you will find all sorts of other terms, and they do not all mean the same thing. So let’s take a closer look at them and explain them.
It will only take a few minutes, I promise!
Pseudologia phantastica, or fantastic lying
Fantastic lying is closest to the term mythomania, meaning pathological lying as such. Most of the points listed above apply to it, and the two terms have at least one thing in common:
A person with fantastic lying (unlike fraudsters) does not want to hurt or harm anyone. They simply suffer from a fixed idea that their life is so uninteresting and their personality so dull that they just have to embellish the routine events in their life.
🗣️ Prof. MUDr. Cyril Höschl, DrSc, says: In roughly 40% of people with fantastic lying, there is some kind of underlying EEG abnormality, for example a head injury or an infection of the central nervous system. Some are aware of their lies, others are not. Their accounts tend to be phantasmagorical and almost unbelievably dazzling. In nearly all of them, we can observe habituation to lying, meaning the belief that their inventions are actually true.
Pseudologia phantastica is very hard to diagnose because it may (or may not) be part of other disorders, such as:
- Antisocial disorder = the person uses lies to manipulate someone else (a sociopath),
- Borderline disorder = the person displays the suffering and lack of understanding they receive from others,
- Narcissistic disorder = the person glorifies themselves,
- Histrionic disorder = the person likes to show off just to attract attention.
🎓 Did you know? Medication is completely ineffective for fantastic lying. If a “healthy person” encounters a fantastic liar, they should undergo psychotherapy themselves, where they learn to “believe the liar as little as possible and realise that, at heart, it is not their fault”. The same applies when dealing with such a liar.
Munchausen syndrome, or Baron Munchausen syndrome
An equally interesting form of pathological lying is so-called Baron Munchausen syndrome. What is it? People with this mental disorder systematically behave as if they had a physical illness, even though they do not.
🎓 Did you know? The condition was named after Baron Munchausen, an 18th-century German officer known for embellishing his stories and exaggerating his health complaints.
Most symptoms of Munchausen syndrome relate to physical disorders. Sufferers can even induce a fever, stomach problems or chest pain. According to psychologists, “sufferers invent or exaggerate various health problems just to draw attention (and sympathy) from those around them, that is, of course, their family, but also, for example, medical staff.”. They are also capable of far more serious misdeeds, for example harming themselves or deliberately falsifying test results (such as contaminating a urine sample with dirt).
Possible warning signs of Munchausen syndrome:
- Inconsistent medical history,
- Unclear symptoms (which, moreover, mysteriously worsen once treatment begins),
- Predictable relapses after finishing the latest treatment,
- Extensive knowledge of the medical world (and textbook descriptions of terminology),
- Many scars (from unnecessary surgery),
- Inventing new symptoms when test results come back negative,
- Symptoms appearing only at moments when the “patient” is surrounded by other people,
- Eagerness to undergo even unpleasant examinations (and operations),
- The patient’s reluctance to let doctors meet family members,
- Problems with self-reflection and identity.
Munchausen syndrome by proxy
It is also essential to mention a special type of Baron Munchausen syndrome, namely Munchausen syndrome by proxy. This is a psychological and paediatric disorder in which a carer (most often the mother) exaggerates, invents or even causes health problems in her child, just to get as much attention and care for the child as possible.
Typical signs of Munchausen syndrome by proxy include:
- The child’s illness is chronic, rare and, above all, long-lasting,
- The child’s symptoms disappear as soon as the parents (or parent) are out of sight,
- The parent is unnaturally attached to the child and has medical knowledge,
- The parent repeatedly demands further examinations for the child,
- The symptoms are suspicious and “get worse” disproportionately after negative test results.
🎓 Did you know? Munchausen syndrome by proxy involves serious harm to the child, which often ends tragically, even in the child’s death!
What behaviour defines a pathological liar? A longing for admiration and/or sympathy!
Neuroscientists from Boston studied what happens in the brain during chronic lying. They came up with the finding that “the more untruths a person tells, the easier each further lie becomes for them“.
The following characteristics of pathological lying have been observed by experts in behavioural psychology and can therefore be taken as a kind of “manual” of a chronic liar’s behaviour.
The lies don’t seem to bring any specific advantage!
Most people turn to lying when they want to avoid trouble or spare the feelings of someone close to them (a so-called white lie). A pathological liar, however, tells stories and untruths that often bring them no “tangible” advantage.
🗣️ Psychiatrists add: The liar’s friends and family are very frustrated, because their loved one clearly lies without getting anything out of it.
Their stories are dramatic and full of surprising details!
The fabrications that pathological liars use to dazzle those around them are dramatic, flowery and complicated, and full of all kinds of details (such as the colour of passers-by’s clothes, the colour of a car, the weather or what a shop looked like).
🎓 Did you know? Pathological liars tend to be fixated on colour. If you hear someone telling a story in which the colours of various minor objects are mentioned strikingly often, pay attention!
Even though their accounts are often exaggerated, chronic liars tend to be very convincing!
A liar would not be a good liar if they could not convince others that what they say is true! They also have a certain slyness and test how far they can go, meaning how much their listeners are willing to believe.
💡 Tip: Happiness is not something to take for granted. Our article reveals 11 tips on how to be happy.
People are often remarkably willing to trust a liar.
🗣️ Psychologists add: The person who accepts the liar’s story has a small warning voice at the back of their mind telling them that something is wrong. But this “little voice” speaks too quietly, so we often do not hear it. Or we do not want to hear it. Either way, half the blame falls on us, because if the liar had no “audience”, they would have no one to lie to and no reason to lie.
A pathological liar usually presents themselves as a hero or a victim!
Chronic liars usually choose one of two versions of a story:
- They describe the situation so that they come out of it as the hero (the one who solved everything, rushed to help, lent a helping hand and came up with a solution),
- They describe the situation so that it sounds as if they were the victim (it was not their fault, it was all a conspiracy, someone else messed up and they got dragged into it).
Pathological liars are master performers. They are good communicators and know how to manipulate people. They often construct sentences and dialogues so as to manipulate or blackmail the other person. If you are interested, you can also read our article on the phrases and tactics of manipulators. They do not lack originality and creativity when inventing their fabrications. They are also ultra-fast thinkers who do not pause, stutter or avoid eye contact when lying.
💡 Tip: Use the information in our article to put together your own ranking of values and life goals!
They believe their own lies!
Self-deception is typical of habitual liars. They can repeat a lie for so long that they come to believe they were actually telling the truth.
🗣️ Psychiatrists add: A habitual liar’s lie usually falls somewhere between truth and untruth, or between self-deception and lying.
🎓 Did you know? When you ask a pathological liar a question, they will talk a lot, but you will not get a concrete answer.
A useful aside, what are white lies and how do they differ from habitual lies?
Most people do not tell the truth from time to time. Studies have found that the average person tells 1.65 lies a day. In the vast majority of cases, however, these are white lies.
What defines them?
- They are occasional,
- They are harmless,
- They are not told with the intention of hurting anyone,
- On the contrary, they try to spare the other person’s feelings,
- The person uses them to get out of a problem.
Good examples of white lies:
- “Boss, I’ve got a terrible headache today. I won’t make it to the meeting!”
- “Yes, I’ve already paid that phone bill!”
- “I got a puncture on my bike on the way to work, so I’ll be half an hour late!”
By contrast, the lies of habitual liars:
- Are frequent and “compulsive”,
- Are told for no obvious reason or prospect of gain,
- Are told to make the person telling them look like a hero or a victim,
- Do not stop even after others “see through” them,
Examples of pathological lies:
- Creating a false history (for example, the liar claims to have visited places they have never been to in their life),
- The liar claims to have a serious illness (although they have none),
- The liar lies to impress others (for example, claims to be related to a famous person).
💡 Tip: Chronic lying is a negative trait. Help the liar develop their positive sides!
How can you get inside a pathological liar’s head and find out what they are after? Be a quiet observer!
Online you will come across discussions on the topic of “how to expose a psychopath”, but that is quite a serious (and often exaggerated) label for pathological liars.
💡 Tip: Is your boss a psychopath? Find out in our article!
Most habitual liars are simply very unhappy and tormented by the thought that their life is worthless. They are terrified that someone will “peek under the lid of their uninteresting existence” and discover that they are useless. That is why they compulsively fantasise and make up stories to liven up their boredom.
🗣️ Psychologists advise: If the pathological liar’s behaviour does not harm you directly or put you in awkward situations (for example, with doctors, your children’s teachers or your managers), do not take your anger out on them. The liar is already punished enough by self-deception, despair, unhappiness and problems with their own identity.
Bear one thing in mind: a pathological liar never has any peace in their life. They must constantly be on guard and burden their mind with inventing fantastical stories. Not only that, they also have to work very hard to make those stories appealing and believable to their listeners. Hard work, if you ask me.
The website healthline.com offers several tips on how to behave in a conversation with a pathological liar:
- Keep your cool = do not let anger take over,
- Expect denial = the liar will logically try to cover one lie with another,
- Do not be shocked when accusations come = the liar will try to “wriggle out” of the situation by shifting the blame onto you,
- Keep reminding yourself that the lie is never aimed at you = a pathological liar lies because they have a compulsive need to, often with a biological basis; it is not aversion towards you,
- Be supportive = pathological lying is an officially recognised disorder, so try not to blame liars for being ill; true friendship helps the sufferer come to terms with reality,
- Do not engage = when you catch the liar lying, do not subject them to a humiliating interrogation or confront them too harshly; instead, leave the room, saying that you do not intend to continue this conversation,
- Suggest seeing a doctor = without mocking or teasing, offer the liar the option of seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist; promise understanding and support, and be patient with the liar’s initial reluctance to seek treatment. Mention that a meaningful conversation with a specialist can help a great deal.
Why is exposing a pathological liar difficult, if not impossible?
Chronic lying is accompanied by a number of related aspects. The main ones include:
- Malingering, or faking illness Exaggerating symptoms, inventing events that never happened, for example:
- False accusations of sexual abuse,
- Faking symptoms of serious illnesses (often with the help of knowledge gained from the internet),
- Self-harm (in an effort to be recognised as disabled).
- Ganser syndrome: the sufferer deliberately behaves as if she had a serious mental disorder (such as schizophrenia); the aim is to attract attention and receive comfort, sympathy and care that is traditionally given to people who are genuinely ill.
🎓 Did you know? People with Ganser syndrome are even willing to undergo very painful examinations just to earn some care and attention.
- Confabulation: the person’s real memories are replaced by completely absurd, colourful notions. In other words, “boring” memories are replaced with far more dazzling ones.
Together, these phenomena form a kind of barrier that even experienced psychiatrists often have no chance of getting past.
🗣️ Dr Charles Dike adds: Unlike fraudsters, pathological liars do not tell deliberate lies intended to cause harm; it is more a firm belief that is untrue. In habitual liars, we often observe an impaired perception of the difference between fact and fiction.
💡 Tip: To deal with their problem, a pathological liar needs to find the right inner motivation. Help them find it!
To the above, let us add the fact that there is a significant difference between compulsive and pathological lying. What is it?
The compulsive liar
Compulsive liars tend to embellish their stories. They tell stories the way they think they ought to be heard.
If you ask a compulsive liar about something, they will probably answer something like this: “You know, you’re very wise to ask for my opinion! Did you know that even the president consults me?”
Compulsive liars are really good at their “craft”, but they still have a vague awareness that what they are saying is not entirely true.
The pathological liar
They go much further still.
🗣️ Psychiatrists explain: A pathological liar keeps lying even once they realise that you know they are lying.
With pathological liars, it is even harder to see what they are up to, because for some reason they lie without any prospect of gain. They are simply predisposed to it, or at least that is what a study in the British Journal of Psychiatry suggests. Doctors scanned the brains of pathological liars over a long period and eventually found that they show an increase in white matter in the prefrontal cortex. This apparently helps them with the cognitive ability to lie, and at a remarkable speed.
💡 Tip: Living together with a partner who is a pathological liar can be difficult. Make sure you are ready!
So what is the conclusion of this article? The answer comes in the final chapter!
A pathological liar cannot be reliably exposed or cured. All you can do is adapt!
Therapy sessions, appointments with a psychiatrist, tests of physical functions, EEG: a pathological liar may go through all of these, with more or less success.
If they admit to themselves and to those around them that they have this disorder, the battle is half won. They are finally ready to start fighting it. Not to get rid of it, because that is almost impossible, but to learn to manage it. The people close to them must also be involved in the process, because the liar’s behaviour develops depending on how they react.
I cannot give you a proven method for exposing a pathological liar, because no such method exists. However, I can give you a list of a few “telltale signs” that should help you catch a potential liar out:
- Their chronic lying develops in childhood (when they prefer to “cover up” anything unpleasant with a lie), and they are masters at it who are not easily outwitted,
- It is a bad habit, not manipulation. (They are not sociopaths.),
- Check whether the person’s story is always consistent. (Do they change the story for different visitors?),
- Observe how often they lie. (A pathological liar lies constantly, so test them with trivial questions, for example: What did you have for lunch yesterday?),
- Watch how the person behaves when you catch them in a lie. (Do they become defensive? Do they quickly cover the first lie with a second one? Do they go on the counterattack?).
- Try praising and encouraging the liar. (If you notice joy in their eyes and a tendency to rein in their lying a little, you will know straight away).
🎓 Did you know? The anger and aggression after being caught in a lie are not aimed at the person who made the “discovery”. They are simply a biological result of a “failed manoeuvre”, which can be compared to a predator driving its prey into a corner. The liar’s last chance of escape is a counterattack, otherwise they feel like “a lamb going willingly to the slaughter”.
💡 Tip: It is important for a pathological liar to have their own routine habits that help them focus on something other than lying. The road to recovery is long and difficult. The first stage is awareness. This must be followed by daily self-control (self-monitoring and discipline). It is like drugs. The road is hard, but a person can change, although it is a struggle! If you have realised that you have a problem with chronic lying, you can start on your own, but do not be afraid to seek professional help.
