Psychological abuse means controlling another person through emotions. People of any age or gender can be abusers or experience abuse. And abuse does not only happen in romantic relationships.
How can you recognise psychological abuse? 10 signs to help you recognise the symptoms of emotional abuse. You will also find guidance on what to do next, how to prove psychological abuse and which crisis helplines you can call. What are the consequences, and what does emotional abuse look like in children? Read on.
The short answer. You can recognise psychological abuse when another person repeatedly humiliates you, controls you, isolates you from your loved ones, threatens you or questions what you have experienced. Around them, you feel less and less sure of yourself. What matters is that it lasts over time and that there is an imbalance of power, not a single argument.
Psychologically abusing a person you share a home with can be a criminal offence in Czechia if it is repeated and reaches a higher degree of cruelty (Section 199 of the Czech Criminal Code, trestní zákoník); ask local police or a lawyer how the law applies where you live. You can get advice from a local helpline for victims of crime and domestic violence (in Czechia: Bílý kruh bezpečí, 116 006, non-stop and free of charge). If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number: 112 in Europe, 911 in the USA and Canada, 999 in the UK (in Czechia: 158 or 112).
Table of contents
Psychological abuse, definition
Psychological abuse means controlling another person through emotions. It involves criticising, embarrassing, shaming, blaming or other forms of manipulation. It often occurs in partnerships and marriages, but psychological abuse can happen in any relationship, including those between friends, family members and colleagues.
The definition of psychological abuse includes attempts to intimidate, control or isolate. This type of abuse does not involve direct physical assault, but it can include destroying property and threats of violence aimed at you or your loved ones. It is characterised by a person’s words, actions and the consistency of this behaviour.
The basic aim of psychological abuse is to control the other person. It involves discrediting, isolating and silencing them. It is one of the hardest forms of abuse to recognise, because it can be subtle and insidious. But it can also be obvious and manipulative.
In any case, emotional abuse can erode your self-esteem, and you start to doubt your own perceptions and reality. In the end, you feel trapped. People who are psychologically abused are often too hurt to keep putting up with the relationship, but they are also afraid to leave. And so the cycle repeats until something is done about it.
How can you recognise psychological abuse?
People of any age or gender can be abusers or experience abuse. And abuse does not only happen in romantic relationships. The abuser may be a spouse or romantic partner, but they may also be a business partner, a parent, a carer or even an adult child. We look at how such a person affects your self-confidence, health and relationships in the article what a toxic person around you does to you.
Whatever the situation, you do not deserve abuse and it is not your fault.
There are several signs that can help you recognise psychological abuse. When thinking about your relationship, bear in mind that psychological abuse is often subtle. As a result, its symptoms are very hard to spot . If you cannot tell whether there is psychological abuse in your relationship, think about how you feel during your interactions.
Do you feel hurt, frustrated, confused, misunderstood, depressed, anxious or worthless every time you interact with that person? If you feel this way repeatedly, it may be emotional abuse. The questions and signs below can help you get your bearings.
Psychological abuse in a relationship and its symptoms
If a relationship involves the constant use of hurtful words and bullying behaviour that drains self-confidence and undermines mental health, there is psychological abuse in the relationship.
The relationship may seem normal and loving at first, with these types of emotional abuse only starting later (as the relationship goes on) in an effort to manipulate and control you. They may begin so slowly that you do not even notice them at first.
The symptoms of psychological abuse in a relationship include the following.
- Accusations of infidelity or other signs of jealousy and possessiveness.
- Constantly checking up on or trying to control the other person’s behaviour.
- Constant arguments or disagreement.
- Criticism.
- Isolation from family and friends.
- Name-calling and verbal insults.
- Refusing to take part in the relationship.
- Shaming or blaming.
- The silent treatment.
- Emotional abuse vs normal conflict.
Conflict is a normal part of a relationship. However, if during a conflict with the other person you feel bullied, disrespected, humiliated, insulted or rejected, these are signs that the conflict may have crossed the line into emotional abuse.
Psychological abuse test, questions to help you take stock
There is no reliable test for psychological abuse, and no online quiz will decide for you. But it can help to answer a few questions honestly. This is not a diagnosis, just a guide to whether your feelings have a real basis.
- Are you afraid of how the other person will react, and do you adjust what you say or do accordingly?
- Do they check your phone, money, clothes or who you spend time with?
- Do you see your family and friends less because it tends to cause scenes?
- Are you often told that you are exaggerating, that you are oversensitive or that things you remember never happened?
- Do they humiliate you in front of others or in private and then call it a joke?
- Do they threaten to leave you, take the children away, reveal your secrets or harm themselves?
- Do you often apologise for things you did not do?
If you answered yes to several questions and this has been going on for some time, take it seriously. Describe the situation to someone you trust, or call a local domestic abuse helpline (in Czechia: 116 006), where they will help you assess the situation. Abusers often rely on manipulation. You will find specific phrases and tactics in the article a manipulator’s phrases and tactics.
10 signs of psychological abuse
You may know many of the obvious signs of psychological abuse and manipulation. But when you find yourself in an abusive situation, it is easy to overlook the subtle early signs that grow into a lasting breeding ground for abusive behaviour.
A single sign proves nothing on its own. What matters is whether the behaviour is repeated, whether there is an imbalance of power between you and whether you are afraid of the other person.
1. Humiliation, denial and criticism
An abuser uses various tactics to undermine your self-esteem. Look at these examples.
- Name-calling and derogatory nicknames. They shamelessly call you “an idiot”, “pathetic” or use other insults.
- Condescension. They belittle you with lines such as: “I know you’re trying, but this is just beyond your brain.”
- Dismissiveness. You share something important to you and get the reply: “What? Who cares?” Body language such as eye-rolling, smirking, head-shaking and sighing.
- Insulting your appearance. As you are leaving, they say: “You’re wearing those ridiculous clothes? No wonder nobody wants you.” Or they say you are lucky they chose you, because they could find someone far more attractive.
- Belittling your achievements. They brush aside your successes and say they do not matter, or they take credit for your achievements.
- Putting down your interests. They suggest your hobby is a waste of time. “You’ll never be any good at drawing, so why do you keep trying?”
- Pushing your buttons. As soon as they find out something that upsets you or makes you uncomfortable, they start bringing it up at every opportunity and ignore your requests to stop.
2. Control
Psychological abuse is linked to a desire to keep power and control. Look at how they may influence you.
- Threats. They hint at them or say them outright. They may even say something like “There’s no telling what I might do,” to keep things vague and make you afraid.
- They track where you are. They always want to know where you are and insist that you respond to calls or messages immediately. They may turn up at your work or school just to check that you really went there.
- Deciding everything. This includes, for example, closing a joint bank account and cancelling doctor’s appointments. They may insist that you drop out of school and quit your job, or do it on your behalf. Or they decide what you wear, what you eat (and how much) or which friends you can spend time with.
- They control access to money. They keep bank accounts in their own name and make you ask for money. They also expect you to keep receipts and account for every crown you spend.
- Constant lecturing. After you make a mistake, however small, they list all your mistakes in a long monologue. They describe all the ways you have failed and make it clear that they consider you beneath them.
- They give direct orders. From “I don’t care what happened. You’ll stay here until you win that client back, or you’re fired,” to “Stop taking those pills“, they expect you to do everything they say without question.
3. Emotional neglect and isolation
A person who abuses usually tries to get you to put their needs first and neglect your own. They will often also try to isolate you by coming between you and the people close to you who support you. This makes you more dependent on them.
These tactics include the following.
- Dehumanising you. During a conversation they deliberately look away or at something else to make you feel unimportant.
- Preventing social contact. Whenever you plan to go somewhere, they invent a distraction or beg you not to go.
- Belittling. They hint or say outright that your needs, boundaries and wishes don’t matter to them.
- Withholding affection. They won’t touch you, not even to hold your hand or pat you on the shoulder. They may refuse any intimate contact as a punishment when you say no to something or don’t do what they want.
- Refusing support. When you need emotional support or help with a problem, they call it unnecessary, say the world can’t stop and wait for your problems, or tell you to toughen up and sort it out yourself.
- Interrupting. They may stand in your way when you’re in the middle of doing something and take your phone or whatever else you’re holding, to show you that your attention should be on them.
4. Unrealistic expectations
One of the signs of psychological abuse is when someone places unrealistic expectations on you.
Here are examples to help you recognise psychological abuse.
- Making unreasonable demands.
- Expecting you to put everything aside and meet their needs.
- Demanding that you spend all your time together.
- Being dissatisfied no matter how hard you try.
- Criticising you for not doing tasks to their standards.
- Expecting you to share their opinions (you’re not allowed to disagree).
- Demanding exact dates and times when you talk about things that upset you (and when you can’t give them, they may dismiss the event as if it never happened).
- They pretend to be helpless. They say they don’t know how to do something, hoping you’ll just do it yourself rather than take the time to explain.
5. Invalidating your personality
Invalidation typically shows these signs.
- Undermining, dismissing or distorting your perception or reality.
- Refusing to accept your feelings by trying to dictate how you should feel.
- Demanding that you explain how you feel over and over again.
- Accusing you of being “too sensitive“, “too emotional” or “crazy“.
- Refusing to acknowledge or accept your opinions or ideas as valid.
- Dismissing your requests, wishes and needs as ridiculous or unjustified.
- Suggesting that your perception is wrong or that you can’t be trusted, with phrases like “you’re exaggerating“.
- Accusing you of being selfish, needy or materialistic when you express your wishes or needs (you’re expected not to have any wishes or needs).
6. Creating chaos
Emotionally abusive people also tend to create chaos.
Here are some examples.
- Starting arguments.
- Making confusing and contradictory statements, known as “crazy-making“.
- Drastic mood swings or sudden emotional outbursts.
- Nitpicking about your clothes, hair, work and other things.
- Behaving so erratically and unpredictably that you feel you’re “walking on eggshells”.
7. Acting superior
People who emotionally abuse others often act superior, as if they were entitled to everything. When considering whether someone in your life shows these signs of emotional abuse, look out for the following.
- They treat you as if you were inferior.
- They blame you for their own mistakes and shortcomings.
- They question everything you say and try to prove you wrong.
- Making jokes at your expense.
- They say your opinions, ideas, values and thoughts are stupid, illogical or “don’t make sense”.
- They speak dismissively or act condescendingly.
- Using sarcasm when communicating.
- Acting as if they’re always right, know what’s best and are cleverer than you.
8. Using emotional blackmail
If someone tries to use your emotions against you, it’s a sign of psychological abuse. Here are examples of emotional blackmail.
- They manipulate and control you by making you feel guilty.
- Humiliating you in public and in private.
- Using your fears, values, compassion or other sensitive spots to control you or the situation.
- Exaggerating your shortcomings or pointing them out to divert attention or avoid responsibility for their own bad decisions and mistakes.
- Denying that something happened, or lying about it.
- Punishing you by withholding affection or giving you the silent treatment.
9. Unpredictable behaviour
Take a look at the signs of unpredictable behaviour.
- Frequent outbursts of anger. They told you to cancel that trip with your friend or put the car in the garage, but you didn’t. So they fly into a rage and shout angrily about how inconsiderate and uncooperative you are.
- Unpredictability. They explode for no clear reason and then suddenly shower you with love. Or their mood changes without warning from upbeat to dark and angry, so you never know what to expect.
- Walking out. A partner or parent may suddenly leave a social event, leaving you with no way to get home. A manager may walk out during a discussion about your task, leaving your questions unanswered.
10. Creating a hierarchy
People who abuse others often create a hierarchy that puts them at the top and you at the bottom.
- Jealousy. They accuse you of flirting or cheating, or claim that you’d spend all your time with them if you really loved them.
- Using guilt. They may try to make you do something by saying things like “You owe me this. Look at everything I’ve done for you” to get their way.
- Provoking and blaming. People who manipulate and abuse usually know exactly how to upset you. But as soon as you get upset, they shift the blame back onto you: after all, it’s your fault for being so sensitive and incapable.
- Denying the abuse. When you express concern about their behaviour, they may deny it, seemingly baffled by the very idea. They may even suggest that you’re the one with anger and control issues, or say they only get angry because you’re such a difficult person.
- Trivialising. When you explain how much something they said or did upset you and hurt your feelings, they accuse you of overreacting or misunderstanding the situation.
- They blame you for their problems. When something goes wrong for them, they always blame you. If only you were a more loving child, a more supportive partner or a better parent, they might say, their life would be fantastic.
- Destroying and denying. They may knock your phone to the floor to break it, “lose” your car keys or destroy other important belongings, and then deny it or claim it was an accident.
Gaslighting, when you start doubting your own memory
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which the other person repeatedly tells you that things happened differently from how you remember them, or didn’t happen at all. Gradually you start to doubt your own memory and judgement and rely more on their version of events.
Sociologist Paige L. Sweet, then at Harvard University, described gaslighting in 2019 in the journal American Sociological Review as a type of psychological abuse aimed at making the victim seem or feel crazy.
Using domestic violence as an example, she showed that perpetrators draw on social stereotypes and inequalities to do this, such as the association of femininity with irrationality.
- “I never said that, you’re making things up again.”
- “You’ve remembered it completely wrong.”
- “You’re oversensitive, a normal person wouldn’t get upset about that.”
- “Everyone thinks there’s something wrong with you.”
To counter gaslighting, it helps to write down events with the date, save messages and emails, and check your perception with people you trust. Your notes can also be useful as evidence if you decide to deal with the abuse through the police or a counselling centre.
The effects of psychological abuse on women and men
Research shows that the effects of psychological abuse on women and men can be just as serious as the effects of physical abuse. Except that instead of physical marks and bruises, the injuries are invisible to others, hidden in the self-doubt, worthlessness and self-hatred you may feel.
Danish psychologists from the National Centre of Psychotraumatology in Odense (Dokkedahl and colleagues) reviewed 194 studies in 2022 in the journal Systematic Reviews. In these studies, psychological violence in intimate relationships was strongly associated with post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and anxiety, in both women and men. The authors also point out that the certainty of the evidence is low and the topic needs further research.
In an earlier study by the same team involving 147 women from Danish women’s shelters, psychological violence was the strongest risk factor for post-traumatic stress disorder and its complex forms. Once the authors took psychological violence into account, neither physical nor sexual violence was linked to these women’s difficulties any longer. We describe how post-traumatic stress disorder shows itself and how it is treated in the article post-traumatic stress disorder.
If emotional abuse is severe and ongoing, you may lose a large part of your self-confidence. Blame, verbal insults, name-calling, criticism and “gaslighting” can damage your self-confidence so much over time that you can no longer see yourself realistically.
As a result, you may begin to agree with the abuser and become inwardly critical of yourself. Once this happens, you find yourself trapped in an abusive relationship and may come to believe that you will never be good enough for anyone else. In the end, you may withdraw from friendships and isolate yourself, convinced that nobody likes you.
Emotional abuse can affect friendships, because people who are emotionally abused often worry about how others see them and whether they are truly liked.
In addition, emotional abuse can cause a range of health problems. The mental health consequences of abuse include depression, anxiety and sometimes the development of an eating disorder. Long-term stress can also show itself physically, for example as a pounding heart, insomnia or digestive problems.
What is emotional and psychological abuse of children?
Emotional and psychological abuse of children is defined as the behaviour, expressions and actions of parents, carers or other significant people in a child’s life that have a negative psychological impact on the child.
Examples of psychological abuse of children include the following.
- Name-calling.
- Insults.
- Threats of violence (even if the threats are never carried out).
- Allowing children to witness the physical or emotional abuse of another person.
- Withholding love, support or guidance.
It is very difficult to find out how common psychological abuse of children is. A wide range of behaviour can be considered abuse, and it is assumed that all forms are under-reported.
Signs of psychological abuse in a child may include the following.
- Fear of a parent.
- The child says they hate their parents.
- Speaking badly about themselves (for example, saying “I’m stupid”).
- Seeming emotionally immature compared with peers.
- Sudden changes in speech (for example, stuttering).
- A sudden change in behaviour (poor results at school).
In parents or carers who abuse a child, you may notice the following signs.
- Showing little or no interest in the child.
- Speaking badly about the child.
- The parent does not touch the child or hug them affectionately.
- Not looking after the child’s health needs.
Psychological abuse by parents
None of these signs in a child proves abuse on its own, as changes in behaviour have other causes too. However, if the signs keep recurring and add up, do not ignore them. Abusing a child in a parent’s care is the criminal offence of abusing a person in one’s care (týrání svěřené osoby) under Section 198 of the Criminal Code (trestní zákoník), punishable by one to five years in prison.
A child or teenager can call a local child helpline (in Czechia: Linka bezpečí, 116 111). Adults who know about an abused child can call a local crisis helpline (in Czechia: Linka důvěry Dětského krizového centra, 241 484 149, non-stop) or contact the authorities responsible for child protection where they live (in Czechia: oddělení sociálně-právní ochrany dětí at the local authority). If there is immediate danger, call your local emergency number (in Czechia: the police on 158).
When a parent psychologically abuses you in adulthood
Control, humiliation and emotional blackmail by a mother or father can continue into adulthood. If you live together, this may amount to abuse of a person living in a shared home (týrání osoby žijící ve společném obydlí) under Section 199 of the Criminal Code (trestní zákoník).
If you do not live together, this section usually does not apply. Threats to kill you or cause serious harm may count as dangerous threats (nebezpečné vyhrožování, Section 353) if they could give rise to a reasonable fear. Anyone who follows you over a long period or contacts you persistently in a way that could cause reasonable fear for your life or health may be committing stalking (nebezpečné pronásledování, Section 354).
In everyday situations, it helps to set boundaries, limit contact and talk the relationship through with a therapist. If an older person is being abused by their own children, they can contact a local crisis helpline (in Czechia: Linka seniorů, 800 200 007).
We describe how to protect yourself from manipulation by your mother in the article manipulative mother, and how childhood experiences carry over into adult relationships in the article childhood trauma in adult relationships.
How can you prove psychological abuse?
If you think you are experiencing psychological abuse, trust your instincts. Proving psychological abuse is not easy, but remember that abuse is never your fault and you do not have to live with it.
With psychological abuse, the main thing to prove is that the humiliation, control or threats have been repeated over a longer period. The more specific records and witnesses you have, the easier it is to show the situation to the police, a counselling service or a court.
What can serve as evidence
Psychological abuse leaves no bruises, so what matters is what you manage to record. The Czech victim support organisation Bílý kruh bezpečí points out that because abuse in a shared home happens out of sight, the victim must work closely with the police (in Czechia: the criminal police) to gather evidence, above all to find witnesses.
- Messages, emails and posts. Save screenshots showing the date and sender, ideally also somewhere other than a shared phone or computer.
- A diary. Write down what happened, when, where and who was present. Regular entries show the repetition that matters in cases of abuse.
- Medical and psychological reports. Tell your GP, psychologist or psychiatrist where problems such as insomnia or anxiety come from, so that it is in your records.
- Witnesses. Friends, neighbours, colleagues or relatives who saw scenes, humiliation or changes in your behaviour.
- Evidence of control. Bank statements, confiscated documents or photos of broken belongings.
You can discuss how to keep evidence safe so that the other person does not find it, and which items are useful for the police, with a local domestic abuse helpline (in Czechia: an intervention centre or the 116 006 helpline). You can also ask about the legal side at a free legal advice centre.
Where to call in a crisis
If you fear immediate physical violence, go somewhere safe if you can. Call the police on 158 or the single emergency number 112, and if you are injured, the ambulance service on 155.
If you are not in immediate danger and need to talk or find somewhere to go, call a local helpline for victims of crime and domestic violence (in Czechia: Bílý kruh bezpečí, 116 006, non-stop and free of charge). According to Bílý kruh bezpečí, on the Czech line you do not have to give the adviser your name, and they cannot see the number you are calling from.
Women can also contact a local domestic abuse helpline for women (in Czechia: ROSA, 116 016, non-stop and free of charge). Children and students can call a local child helpline (in Czechia: Linka bezpečí, 116 111).
The table lists telephone crisis helplines.
| Helpline | Who it is for | Number |
| Victim Support Line | Local helpline for victims of crime and domestic violence (in Czechia: Bílý kruh bezpečí, free of charge, non-stop). | Your local helpline (in Czechia: 116 006) |
| Helpline for Women | Local domestic abuse helpline for women (in Czechia: ROSA, free of charge, non-stop; the second number is the ROSALIN line, also free of charge and non-stop). | Your local helpline (in Czechia: 116 016, 800 60 50 80) |
| Local child helpline (in Czechia: Linka bezpečí) | National helpline for children and students up to the age of 26 in difficult life situations, free of charge, non-stop. | Your local helpline (in Czechia: 116 111) |
| Local crisis helpline (in Czechia: Linka první psychické pomoci) | For adults in a mental health crisis and the people close to them, free of charge, non-stop. The Crisis Intervention Centre in Bohnice (Centrum krizové intervence v Bohnicích) does not provide crisis help by phone, only in person. | Your local helpline (in Czechia: 116 123) |
| Prague Helpline (Pražská linka důvěry) | Prague Social Services Centre (Centrum sociálních služeb Praha), for the whole population, 24/7. | 222 580 697 |
| Fokus Praha Crisis Service (Krizová služba Fokus Praha) | Outreach, telephone and chat crisis help for people in Prague with experience of mental illness and the people close to them, crisis phone line from 8 am to 6 pm, free of charge. | 777 800 983 |
| SOS centrum Diakonie ČCE | Crisis intervention, short-term therapy and social counselling in Prague, Monday to Thursday from 9 am to 8 pm, Friday from 9 am to 5 pm. | 222 514 040, 777 734 173 |
| Local crisis helpline for children and families (in Czechia: Linka důvěry Dětského krizového centra) | For children and parents, relatives and professionals who have come into contact with the syndrome of the abused, sexually abused and neglected child, but generally for anyone who finds themselves in a crisis and needs fast, accessible help. Non-stop. | 241 484 149 |
| Local crisis helpline for older people (in Czechia: Linka seniorů, Elpida) | For older people, people caring for older people and people in crisis. Every day from 8 am to 8 pm, anonymous, free of charge. | 800 200 007 |
If a partner, friend or family member has no intention of changing their harmful choices or working on them, the abuse usually does not end on its own. In the long run, it can take a toll on you both mentally and physically.
According to Campbell and colleagues, separating from a controlling partner is one of the risk factors for the murder of a female partner, so plan your departure in advance and prepare a safety plan.
How to leave an abuser safely
An American study by Jacquelyn Campbell of Johns Hopkins University and colleagues (American Journal of Public Health, 2003) compared 220 women killed by a partner with 343 abused women who survived.
Among the risk factors, it found separation from the partner, especially from a partner who controlled the woman. Others were access to a gun and previous threats with a weapon. So plan your departure in advance, ideally with professionals.
A local domestic abuse helpline will go through a safety plan with you (in Czechia: an intervention centre or the 116 006 helpline). From the recommendations of the Czech organisation Bílý kruh bezpečí, we have selected the following steps.
- Leave spare keys, clothes, documents, prescriptions and money with someone you trust.
- Memorise the numbers of friends, relatives and shelters, and agree with someone you trust what to do if you do not get in touch.
- Agree on a signal with your neighbours that tells them to call the police, such as a light left on.
- Plan the safest time to leave and explain to your children where in the flat they should hide.
- Call helplines from a phone the other person cannot access.
After you leave, the abuser may carry on with surveillance, messages or threats online. If they follow you, seek you out or persistently contact you over a long period, and this could give you a reasonable fear for your life or health, it may be stalking under Section 354 of the Criminal Code (trestní zákoník).
We summarise what to watch out for in our article on cyberstalking. If you are leaving a marriage, you will find practical steps in our article on divorce and the division of property.
When psychological abuse is a crime
Section 199 of the Criminal Code (trestní zákoník) states: “Whoever abuses a close person or another person living with them in a shared home shall be punished by imprisonment for six months to four years.” If the offence is committed, for example, in a particularly brutal or tormenting way, over a longer period, or causes serious harm to health, the penalty is two to eight years.
According to the Czech organisation Bílý kruh bezpečí, abuse can be physical, psychological or sexual. Individual attacks do not have to be crimes in themselves. It is enough if they are repeated and show a higher degree of harshness and cruelty that the victim rightly feels as a serious injustice. A specific feature is the shared home, which makes the victim dependent and makes it harder for them to leave.
Reporting psychological abuse to the police
You can report abuse to the police where you live; ask local police or a lawyer how criminal complaints work in your country. In Czechia, both the police and the public prosecutor’s office must accept a criminal complaint (Section 158(2) of the Code of Criminal Procedure, trestní řád), and Bílý kruh bezpečí recommends going directly to the Criminal Police and Investigation Service (služba kriminální policie a vyšetřování) in cases of abuse.
If you ask, they must inform you within one month of what they have done about the case. For this crime, the law does not require the victim’s consent to criminal prosecution.
If the person you live with is likely to attack you, the police and courts may be able to remove them from the shared home or issue a protection order; ask local police or a lawyer. In Czechia, the police can evict them for 14 days, and this cannot be shortened, even with the consent of the person at risk (Section 44 of Act No. 273/2008 Coll., on the Police of the Czech Republic, zákon o Policii České republiky). If you apply for an interim measure during the eviction, it is extended until the court decides.
Where to turn if you are experiencing psychological abuse
You do not have to wait until the situation turns into physical violence. A local domestic abuse helpline can point you to support services where you live. In Czechia, intervention centres help people at risk of violence from someone they live with, both after an eviction order and at their own request, and their services are free of charge (Section 72(m) of Act No. 108/2006 Coll., on Social Services, zákon o sociálních službách). Their addresses are on domacinasili.cz or available from the 116 006 helpline.
Under Section 37(3) and Section 72(a) of the same Act, counselling centres for victims of crime and domestic violence are also free. The following helplines can help by phone.
- Local helpline for victims of crime and domestic violence (in Czechia: Bílý kruh bezpečí, 116 006, 24/7 and free).
- Local domestic abuse helpline for women (in Czechia: ROSA, 116 016, 24/7 and free).
- Local crisis helpline, for adults in a mental health crisis (in Czechia: Linka první psychické pomoci, 116 123, 24/7 and free).
- Local child helpline, for children and students (in Czechia: Linka bezpečí, 116 111, 24/7 and free).
- 158 police, 155 ambulance, 112 single emergency number.
Psychological abuse does not only affect women. Look for a local crisis or domestic abuse helpline that also supports men (in Czechia: the 116 006 and 116 123 helplines are for both women and men). If you are experiencing abuse at work, from your boss or colleagues, a free legal advice centre can also help you.
If you are being bullied at work, you can ask the regional labour inspectorate (oblastní inspektorát práce) to carry out an inspection, including online via the website of the State Labour Inspection Office (Státní úřad inspekce práce). Describe who is bullying you and how, attach evidence and name any witnesses. The labour inspectorate must keep the identity of the person who made the complaint confidential.
Admit to yourself that you are experiencing psychological abuse
Depending on the situation, you may need to take steps to end the relationship. Every situation is different, so talk through your thoughts and ideas with a trusted friend, family member or counsellor. Psychological abuse can have serious long-term consequences for women and men, but it can also be a precursor to physical abuse and violence.
The first step in dealing with an emotionally abusive relationship is recognising the abuse. If you can identify any aspect of emotional abuse in your relationship, it is important, above all, to admit it to yourself.
By being honest about what you are going through, you can begin taking back control of your life. Sometimes attempts to resolve or reduce emotional abuse can backfire and make the abuse worse. Tactics that are not effective ways of dealing with abuse include the following.
- Arguing with the abuser.
- Trying to understand or make excuses for the abuser.
- Trying to calm the abuser down.
Recovering from emotional abuse
If you have experienced emotional abuse, there are several things you can do to help the healing process.
- Acknowledge the abuse. Playing down what happened is a natural defence. When you admit that abuse took place, you open the way to healing.
- Give yourself time to heal. Healing has no fixed deadline and may take longer than you would like. Be patient with yourself. You are worth it and you deserve to live a happy life.
- Practise self-compassion. Give yourself the same compassion, kindness and flexibility to grow that you would give a friend who had experienced emotional abuse.
- Reach out to your loved ones.
- Seek counselling. We describe what to expect from a psychologist and when to see one in our article when to see a psychologist.
- Talk to others who have been emotionally abused. Sharing your experiences with others who have been through the same thing will help you realise that you are not alone, and will also give you access to strategies they used that helped them heal.
Shape your response to psychological abuse
Recovery from emotional abuse takes time. Self-care, contact with supportive loved ones and talking to a therapist will help you. Also make sure you get enough rest and eat a healthy diet. These simple steps can go a long way towards helping you cope with the everyday stress of psychological abuse.
If you have been in an emotionally abusive relationship for a long time, you may think there is something wrong with you. But you are not the problem! Abuse is a choice. Stop blaming yourself for something you cannot control.
Despite all your efforts, you usually will not change an emotionally abusive person by doing something differently or by being different. The abusive person has chosen to behave this way.
Remind yourself that you cannot control their behaviour and that their choices are not your fault. The only thing you can control is your response to emotional abuse. We hope you find the inner strength to be as happy in life as you deserve.
