We all know the feeling: you meet someone you like, and straight away your heart beats faster, your cheeks go red and you start acting a little strangely. But how can you tell whether they like you too? Body language can give you a clue! Even if words sometimes lie, your body gives away much more. Learn to read body language signals and you will find out whether the person is interested in you.
Both men and women find people with open body language the most attractive. Open body language means smiling, uncrossed arms, uncrossed legs and an upward gaze (not looking down at your shoes or phone). From an evolutionary point of view, people are tuned in to signals of fertility and youth. Fortunately, these can be emphasised through body language. So which signals show interest?
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Signals you will notice straight away
Eye contact
The eyes are said to be the mirror of the soul, and in this case that is doubly true. Long, relaxed eye contact is one of the strongest signs of interest. If the person looks at you with a smile and slightly raised eyebrows, it is a clear sign that they like you.
If the person who has caught your eye cannot take their eyes off you but does not look at other people this way, that is another way to tell that you may have their full attention and interest.
Smiling
A genuine smile that reaches the eyes is contagious and lifts the mood. If the person smiles at you when you talk to them, they are showing you that they feel comfortable with you and enjoy your company.
The type of smile matters too, though. If the person often gives you a broad, ear-to-ear grin, they may be showing that they like you.
Leaning in
Leaning towards the other person during a conversation is a universal sign of interest and active listening. If the person leans towards you, they are showing that they are fully focused on what you are saying and that your opinion interests them.
What other signals can confirm that someone likes you?
You will notice the signals above straight away. But there are others that you need to pay closer attention to. What are they?
Mirroring
Mirroring is when someone subtly imitates your speech or non-verbal behaviour. It is a way of testing the level of interest. If someone is attracted to you, another body language signal may be copying your movements. Again, this can be subtle.
For example, if you are sitting in a restaurant and you touch your face, lean in slightly or laugh, you can check whether the other person does something similar, although they will probably not be aware of it. People will mirror your behaviour if they like you, even on a subconscious level.
Here are some verbal and non-verbal signals that can help you tell whether the other person is mirroring you:
- Do they copy your posture when standing or sitting?
- Do they copy the volume and rhythm of your voice?
- Do they use the same words or language as you?
- Do their facial expressions change in the same way as yours? Or do they stay completely flat?
They enter your personal space
When you are in the same place, the space between you and the other person can tell you a lot about your relationship. This is another way to gauge the other person’s level of interest. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Does the person enter your intimate space and start interacting with you in a really close way?
- Is the person leaning towards you or moving away from you? Leaning in is a non-verbal signal of partnership, openness and friendship.
- Does the person look for subtle ways to touch your arm or hand? Touch signals connection.
Relaxed posture
An open, welcoming posture makes people feel relaxed. If someone is attracted to you and wants to get closer, they may subconsciously adjust their posture to seem more open and friendly. They may stand or sit with relaxed shoulders and open arms, and use hand gestures when talking to seem livelier and more enthusiastic.
Men in general often try to seem a little dominant and in control. This includes spreading their legs or arms to take up more space and standing upright with their chest pushed forward. Women, on the other hand, generally try to look smaller when flirting, for example by keeping their legs close to their body when sitting and clasping their hands in their lap.
The torso direction theory
This theory will probably amuse you, and you will start looking at everyone’s stomach. Do it discreetly, so the person does not think you are judging the size of their middle.
In a study from the 1930s, the researcher W. T. James found that the direction of the torso plays a key role in showing interest.
- Torso turned towards you = interest
- Torso turning away from you = lack of interest
- Torso expanding = greater interest and confidence
- Torso drawing inwards = nervousness or slightly reduced interest
Dilated pupils
People’s pupils dilate when they find someone attractive. Although there are other reasons why pupils dilate, research has shown that physical attraction or arousal can also trigger this reaction. Next time you talk to someone you like, check whether their pupils have got bigger.
Be careful, though, as this is not always 100% reliable. Pupils can also dilate when you are in a dimly lit room, when you feel anxious, excited or upset, or when you are concentrating hard on a task.
Blushing
Blushing happens when you feel attracted to someone. If you notice someone’s cheeks turning pink when they are with you, it may be because they like you. The flush can also appear on other parts of the body, such as the neck or ears. It can also be a sign that someone feels a little nervous around you because of their feelings.
💡Tip: Make someone blush by paying them an unexpected compliment. For this, you can use 25 chat-up lines that work.
Grooming
Playing with their hair, adjusting their clothes or checking themselves in the mirror can signal an effort to make a good impression on you. You may catch someone who is attracted to you often fixing their hair when they are near you, putting on make-up or checking their reflection. You may also notice that they always try to dress their best for you.
For women, flicking their hair over their shoulders is one way of showing off and drawing the other person’s attention to their physical features. There is nothing wrong with spending a little more time looking good for the person you have a crush on. Do your hair and wear clothes you feel comfortable in, so you feel your best.
Nervousness
Fidgeting and stammering can actually mean that someone likes you. It is perfectly natural to feel a little nervous around your crush or someone you are attracted to. If you notice someone constantly fiddling with their clothes or other objects around them, struggling to keep eye contact or sweating a little, they may be feeling nervous.
If you feel nervous around someone you like, you may also notice that your heart beats faster and your body is a little warmer than usual. To feel more at ease around someone you find attractive, treat them like a friend and be yourself around them.
💡Tip: Want to approach someone you do not know at all? The first impression will be key.
Body language can tell us a lot about what the other person thinks of you. Although there is no universal signal that guarantees someone likes you, noticing and combining the signals above can give you a good idea of whether you have a chance. But remember that body language is only one factor to consider. Tone of voice, the content of the conversation and the overall impression the person makes on you also matter.
