15 signs your relationship has no future

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Nobody starts a relationship expecting it to end one day. Now you feel that it’s just not right. You’re facing a difficult decision and wondering when to end a relationship. We’ve put together 15 signs that a relationship has no future to help you get clarity. Sometimes we need to move on and look rationally at the situation we’re in. Romantic relationships are complicated, yet there are clear signs that ending a relationship is the most sensible option for everyone.

The short answer. A relationship has no future when you have felt lonely or unhappy in it for a long time and efforts to change things have achieved nothing, or when you’re the only one who wants to try. Arguments and drifting apart don’t mean it’s over in themselves. What matters is whether you can still talk to each other with respect.

If your partner humiliates you, controls you, threatens you or is violent, there is nothing to save. If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number: 112 in Europe, 911 in the USA and Canada, 999 in the UK (in the Czech Republic: 158 or 112). Otherwise, call a local crisis or domestic abuse helpline (in the Czech Republic: the 24-hour helplines 116 006 or 116 016).

How do I know when to end a relationship?

A healthy relationship is important for other areas of our lives. The effects of a relationship that isn’t working spill over into other areas too, including our work, health and finances. Do you feel that everything is going well for you, but you have no one to share it with? In a relationship we want to feel understood and supported, and to have someone beside us who makes us a better person. We also need to share illness, worries and failures with someone.

The hardest part is realising that you are in a relationship that doesn’t work. This is the turning point. You’ve been tiptoeing around this issue for a long time. Admit to yourself that nothing will change and it won’t get better. Ask yourself honestly whether or not you are in a healthy relationship.

• things work and you feel comfortable

• things don’t work but there is room for improvement

• the false belief that it will work one day

A crisis or the end of the relationship?

Every long-term relationship goes through a phase when partners drift apart, argue or get on each other’s nerves. A crisis in itself is not proof that the relationship has no future.

Psychologist John Gottman, who has studied couples for many years, distinguishes between solvable and perpetual problems. According to the Gottman Institute, perpetual problems make up 69% of conflicts in romantic relationships.

Perpetual problems come from differences in personality and needs, so no argument will ever solve them. Happy couples have them too, they just manage to talk about them without hurting each other.

So the difference between a crisis and the end is not whether you argue, but how you argue. Gottman described four ways of communicating that gradually break a relationship down, and called them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

• Criticism. Instead of complaining about a specific thing, you attack the other person’s character. Not “You didn’t take the bin out again”, but “You’re just lazy and selfish”.
• Contempt. Mockery, sarcasm, ridicule and insults. One partner makes it clear that they feel superior to the other.
• Defensiveness. Every complaint is met with an excuse or a counterattack, and the blame is shifted onto the other person.
• Stonewalling. One partner withdraws from the conversation, stops responding and just stays silent, or walks away without explanation and never returns to the subject.

According to the Gottman Institute, the most dangerous is contempt, which it calls the single strongest predictor of divorce. If criticism or defensiveness appear in your arguments from time to time, it’s more likely a crisis you can work with.

When contempt is an everyday occurrence and one of you just stays silent, the relationship is seriously at risk. According to the institute, the antidote to contempt is consciously building fondness and appreciation. It’s better to raise a disagreement gently and to take a break when you’re very upset.

In a study of newlyweds whom Gottman followed for six years, couples who stayed together responded to their partner’s bids for attention 86% of the time on average. Couples who divorced did so only 33% of the time.

If you’re both trying and it helps, you’re facing a crisis. You’ll find practical steps in the article how to save a relationship and when it’s no longer worth it and in the article on why communication between partners matters. If you’re the only one trying, that’s one of the signs below.

Signs that a relationship is going nowhere

Have you been unhappy for some time, with the question of when to end a relationship going round in your head? Start with the most important thing and ask yourself: “How do I feel next to my partner? Do I feel harmony, calm and a connection with him?” If you don’t feel at ease with him and you’re also unhappy with yourself, something is wrong.

If there is physical or psychological abuse, there is nothing to consider. You’ll find what to do and who to call below. Go through the following 15 signs and don’t prolong your suffering.

1. Incompatibility

What does this mean? You put all your energy into the relationship and try hard, but you still feel that something is missing. At first glance it seems fine, but you want something different too. This sign shows most clearly in feeling unfulfilled in the things that matter to you.

Respect how you feel in the relationship. After a while, the initial euphoria and curiosity fade. Then comes the lovely stage where you hide nothing from each other and, as the saying goes, you are “naked” in front of each other.

Keeping secrets will leave you under constant pressure. Ignoring the law of compatibility always leads to disharmony. And that’s true even if you put in all your energy and effort.

“Water and oil are both liquids, but they never mix, even when they flow smoothly side by side.”

2. Plans for the future? None.

None at all? Can’t you see a future with him? Can you say where you see yourself in a few years? Does the idea of having children and living together for the rest of your life feel a bit frightening? That’s a warning sign. Don’t stay in this relationship, nothing will change. The right partner by your side will give you a vision of the future, and you’ll look forward to what’s to come.

3. You lack an emotional connection

Have you simply stopped caring where he is and what he’s doing? Don’t you mind how he is or how he feels? That doesn’t bode well, because in a happy relationship we share our thoughts and opinions. Ask yourself: “Do I want to share with him what’s going on in my mind?” If you don’t want to share your life with him and you’re not interested in his, you’ve reached the point where the relationship is, sadly, going nowhere.

4. You look forward to time without him

It’s understandable that we sometimes need a break from work or relationship duties. But if you’re genuinely looking forward to being without him and would rather he wasn’t there at all, you have to admit that something is wrong and your relationship is probably over.

5. Your life goals are different

Do you dream of having children while he doesn’t? Do you long for an exotic holiday while he’s not interested? Mismatched goals and plans will eventually make your relationship fail. Different views on life goals and plans are hard to reconcile, and they will certainly cause trouble in the future. If you’ve reached the stage where you know it will never change, think about your future, for example with a mind map, and prepare for an unpleasant conversation with him.

6. Sex? No, thanks.

One of the most significant and important signs of when to end a relationship. Of course, a certain spark fades after a while. Sex becomes more emotional and quality tends to matter more than quantity. But if you find his touch annoying or unpleasant and you’ve reached the point where you only sleep with him out of a sense of duty, that’s a problem. If he pressures you into sex, it’s not a crisis but abuse, see below.

Extra tip. Recognise this in time and you’ll avoid looking for sexual satisfaction elsewhere later.

7. Someone else on the horizon

The beginning of a relationship is wonderful. Being in love. We want to be with the other person every second and we’re hooked on them. Suddenly it’s gone. Has someone else come into your life, someone who has reawakened your desire, and you’d rather spend time with them? Perhaps you already recognised yourself in the previous sign, so it’s understandable that you see yourself in this one too. Life can’t be planned, so it’s time to talk to your current partner.

8. Arguments and nothing but arguments!

You certainly won’t build a good relationship on constant fiery “Italian-style” rows at home. It’s natural to disagree now and then, but being unable to agree on anything and being constantly on edge is not a good sign. Arguments come from having different opinions, and a truly healthy relationship isn’t about daily squabbles. Sometimes our opinions simply can’t be brought together and accepted.

9. God, he gets on my nerves

Yes, this is a sign too. Do you sometimes catch yourself asking, “Why am I arguing with him?” Do you look at your partner and feel that some of his behaviour irritates you? Some behaviour we can overlook, while other things drive us mad. The fault isn’t necessarily your partner’s. It’s just that something inside you is rebelling. Whatever he does, it simply bothers you.

Do little things annoy you, like the way he loads the dishwasher?

Does the way he dresses get on your nerves?

Does the way he eats his dinner bother you?

Talk to him about what bothers you and whether he’s able to change in the areas that irritate you. If he isn’t, you’re reaching the point where ending the relationship is the most sensible solution for everyone.

10. He’s trying to change you into his ideal

In a relationship, what matters is that he values you for who you are and accepts you with your flaws and imperfections. Do you feel you can’t be proud of yourself when you’re with him? Can you sense him trying to change you into his ideal? Whether he uses certain behaviour, humiliation or manipulative tactics, in a relationship like this you will lose part of yourself, your freedom and your natural self. If he humiliates you constantly and you are afraid of him, this is not a crisis but abuse (see below).

11. Unreliability

It is natural to want someone to lean on in a relationship and to know you can rely on your partner. You’re making dinner and he’s nowhere to be seen. Has he once again not told you he’ll be late? Did you agree on something, and once again you didn’t get even a text message? If this has become a daily routine, it’s time for an honest talk.

12. All you share now is obligations

We often decide to stay in a relationship just for the children. But that isn’t right. Few people can admit that the relationship is going nowhere, so we stay in it only because of certain commitments and obligations. Neither a mortgage nor shared financial commitments are a reason that should keep you in a relationship. We explain below how to handle shared housing and children.

13. A serial cheater

Repeated infidelity wears a person down more and more over time. Cheating badly damages our self-esteem and mental health, which are key to our happiness. Don’t torment yourself with a chronic cheater and liar. You will never be happy with him. You deserve someone better!

14. You feel you’re doing it all alone

Do you have a lot on your plate after work and still have to wear yourself out at home? It’s not good when you feel you’re doing everything alone and your partner doesn’t help with anything. Try talking about the problem. A relationship is going nowhere when you feel you’re the only one doing everything. A relationship always involves two people, and you should never feel inferior or like someone’s servant.

15. Money problems

It’s no fun when you’re saving the family’s money and your partner is happily spending it on alcohol or gambling. If it keeps happening and talking doesn’t help, it’s better to end the relationship before you end up in bigger financial trouble. A man who deliberately puts you in financial hardship doesn’t deserve your love, and a future with him will always be difficult. If your partner takes your money or won’t let you make decisions about it, this is not a crisis but abuse (see below).

Questions to ask yourself before you decide

The decision to end a relationship shouldn’t be made after a single argument or during the worst week of the year. Write down your answers to the following questions, ideally on two different days. If your answers match, take them seriously.

• Do I feel safe with him, even when we argue?
• If nothing changed, would I want to live like this for another five years?
• Am I staying because of him, or because of the children, money, housing and fear of being alone?
• Have we both really tried to change something, or only me?
• Does my partner know how I feel? Have I told him plainly?
• Do I still love him, or do I just not want him to suffer?

The last question is there for a reason. In 2018, Samantha Joel and her colleagues published a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in which they followed people who were considering a break-up for ten weeks.

It turned out that people stay even in an unsatisfying relationship when they believe their partner depends on them heavily. This was especially true of those who pay close attention to their partner’s needs. Consideration is a lovely quality, but as the only reason to stay in a relationship, it does neither of you any good.

How to decide whether to stay or leave

If there is violence or threats in the relationship, or you are afraid of your partner, couples therapy or an ultimatum is not appropriate. In that case, contact a local domestic abuse helpline or support service (in the Czech Republic: an intervention centre or the 24/7 helplines 116 006 and 116 016). There is more in the section on abuse below.

If your answers are mostly uncertain, give the relationship a clear, time-limited chance. Tell your partner plainly what needs to change and agree on a few months during which you will both work on it. Then assess whether anything has moved.

Couples therapy or marriage counselling can help. An impartial professional will spot where your conversations get stuck and help you talk in a way that lets you really hear each other.

You can also go to counselling alone if your partner refuses. It will help you work out what you actually want. We discuss when it makes sense to see a psychologist in the article when to see a psychologist and what to expect.

Where to find marriage and family counselling

Look for relationship and family counselling where you live; a doctor or therapist can point you to local options. In the Czech Republic, marriage and family counselling centres are a registered social service that provides free professional social counselling under the Czech Social Services Act (zákon o sociálních službách). However, you may sometimes have to wait for a first appointment.

You can find the nearest counselling centre in the Register of Social Service Providers (Registr poskytovatelů sociálních služeb) on the website of the Ministry of Labour and Social Affairs (Ministerstvo práce a sociálních věcí). Simply select professional social counselling as the type of service and choose your region or municipality. If you don’t want to wait, the alternative is private couples therapy with a psychologist or psychotherapist, which you pay for yourselves.

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How to end a relationship decently

Once you’ve made up your mind, how you break up matters too. In 2010, Susan Sprecher and her colleagues studied in the journal Social Psychology how people perceive different ways of ending a relationship.

Strategies that people consider compassionate include an open face-to-face conversation that explains the reasons in a kind tone. The following principles are based on this.

• Talk in person, not by message. The exception is if you are afraid of your partner, in which case your safety comes first.
• Choose a calm moment and a private place, not a party, the holidays or the evening after an argument.
• Talk about your decision, not his mistakes. Saying “I’ve decided to end our relationship” is clearer than a long list of grievances.
• Don’t give false hope if the decision is final. Phrases like “maybe some day” only prolong the pain for both of you.
• Feel free to leave practical matters for another conversation. The first conversation is about the decision, not about dividing things up.

The worst option is to disappear without explanation. We explain separately why ghosting hurts more than an honest conversation, and you’ll find more tips in the article 8 ways to end a relationship sensitively.

After a break-up, expect to feel sad even if it was the right decision. We describe how to cope in the article 10 tips for successfully getting over a break-up.

Breaking up when you have children and share a home

With children, a break-up isn’t just about the two of you. You remain parents, and your children need to hear that the break-up isn’t their fault and that you both love them.

Tell them together if possible, in a way that suits their age, and without blaming the other parent. Don’t argue about money and property in front of them.

First try to agree on childcare and child maintenance yourselves. Unmarried parents don’t have to go to court if they reach an agreement. If no agreement is reached, one parent files an application with the court to arrange the child’s circumstances, and the court decides the extent of each parent’s care and the amount of maintenance.

New rules have applied since 1 January 2026. According to the Ministry of Justice (Ministerstvo spravedlnosti), the court no longer chooses between sole, alternating and joint custody but decides the extent to which each parent will care for the child. The same applies to unmarried parents.

When the parents agree, they represent the child in court themselves. The court appoints the child protection authority (OSPOD) mainly where there is a risk of a conflict of interest between the parents and the child. A court-approved maintenance agreement can be enforced if the other parent stops paying.

For married couples with minor children, the court decides on the divorce and the children in a single joint procedure. You can find more about divorce in the article divorce and the division of joint property. If there is violence in the family, don’t negotiate an agreement with your partner alone, and resolve childcare through the court with the help of an intervention centre.

Shared housing and money

Before the break-up gets fully under way, get an overview. Find out who is named on the tenancy agreement, whose name the mortgage or property is in, and which accounts, loans and contracts you share.

Keep copies of important documents outside your shared home. If your partner controls you, leave them only with a trusted person or in an account he has no access to, and plan your departure with an intervention centre.

Agree on who will live where and until when, who pays the rent or repayments, and how you will divide your belongings. Put the agreement in writing, even if you currently agree. If you can’t reach an agreement, contact a lawyer or a free legal advice service.

When it’s no longer a crisis but abuse

Some situations are not a relationship crisis but abuse. The World Health Organization (WHO) counts physical assault, sexual coercion, psychological abuse and controlling behaviour as intimate partner violence.

According to WHO estimates, roughly a quarter of women aged 15 to 49 who have ever been in a relationship have experienced physical or sexual violence from a partner at least once in their lives.

The Ministry of the Interior (Ministerstvo vnitra) describes domestic violence by four features. It is repeated, it gradually escalates, the roles of the person causing harm and the person at risk are clearly defined, and it takes place behind closed doors. Be alert if any of these signs apply to you.

• Your partner checks your phone, messages, money or who you see.
• He limits your contact with family and friends until you’re left alone.
• He humiliates you, insults you or mocks you in front of others.
• He threatens you, the children or himself.
• You’re afraid of his reaction and think ahead about what might make him angry.
• He has pushed you, hit you or forced you to have sex.

Psychological abuse is harder to recognise than bruises because it creeps in slowly. If your partner questions your memories and perceptions, read about gaslighting and the most common types of manipulation in a relationship.

The story of Julie, whose husband wore down her self-confidence, describes how to rebuild your self-esteem after years of humiliation.

Where to turn for help

• 158 or 112. If you are in immediate danger, call the police straight away.
• Local crisis helpline. Contact a local helpline for victims of crime and domestic violence (in the Czech Republic: 116 006, run by Bílý kruh bezpečí, available round the clock and free of charge).
• Local domestic abuse helpline. Contact a local helpline for women experiencing domestic violence (in the Czech Republic: ROSA, a centre for women, on 116 016, available round the clock, free of charge and anonymous. ROSA also has a 24-hour line on 800 60 50 80).
• Intervention centre. It helps people at risk of domestic violence free of charge with safety, counselling and court applications. You can find the nearest one in the Register of Social Service Providers (Registr poskytovatelů sociálních služeb).

The police can order a violent person to leave a shared home for 14 days, and this period cannot be shortened, even with your consent. The person who has been removed must hand over their keys and may take only personal belongings and documents.

Under the Social Services Act (zákon o sociálních službách), an intervention centre must then contact you and offer help within 48 hours of receiving the official police record.

During the removal period, you can apply to the court for an interim measure that extends your protection. An intervention centre will help you with the application. If violence is involved, plan your departure with professionals and with your safety in mind. In that case, the advice above about having a face-to-face conversation does not apply.

If you recognise yourself in the signs

It is natural not to want to admit that our relationship is falling apart and that everything is wrong. Did you recognise yourself in a few of the signs?

Admit to yourself that you are noticing warning signs, and act accordingly.

We consider breakups one of the most painful experiences, after all, everything revolves around relationships, dating and broken hearts. Sometimes the fear of loneliness, the habit of not changing anything or financial dependence wins out. It is time to tell yourself that you only have one life. Be happy. A broken heart hurts, but it is nothing that cannot heal. Here’s to a brighter tomorrow!