Sometimes doubts are justified, especially when your female intuition tells you that something might be wrong. Thoughts creep into your head and lead to questions: “Am I just a backup option? Is this really love?” Falling for the illusion of a relationship and living through a fake relationship is nothing unusual. In life we meet all kinds of people, and sometimes we cannot stop someone from trying to play with our feelings. We can, however, use good common sense and refuse to let anyone manipulate us. 7 tips: How to tell if he’s just playing with me will help you find out what his intentions really are. Get some clarity. ⬇️
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Tip 1, you’re not happy
This alone suggests that something isn’t quite right. Thoughts like these don’t fly around your head for no reason, and they deserve your attention. Relationships and understanding them can be complicated, but don’t forget how you feel. Do you feel that you’re not happy? Do you feel he’s putting on an act and it’s exhausting? Isn’t this the key sign of how to tell if he’s just playing with me?
Being happy in a relationship means everything is heading in the right direction, you feel confident, and communication is open and natural. Your partner shouldn’t make you feel that he isn’t interested in you, or that you’re just a backup option when it suits him. Love in a relationship is mutual.
Tip 2, unnatural mood swings
Does it feel a bit like a rollercoaster? Treat this as one of the signs too. One moment he’s kind, the next he’s arrogant. Does he sometimes fail to control his anger and pass his stress on to you? Sadly, this behaviour is typical of players, and if you sense manipulative tactics in it, trust your instincts.
Are you constantly calming your nerves and worrying about what mood he’ll be in? Being with someone who changes moods more often than socks and can be very negative is mentally draining and, in the long run, frustrating. Men who respect women don’t try to psychologically terrorise them with their moods.
Tip 3, deliberately ignoring you
You messaged him, but several days went by without a reply? Then, out of the blue, a message arrives saying you can meet at his place? That’s not a good sign, unless he had a serious and credible reason for not getting in touch for several days. So many unanswered questions then run through your head. “Why torment myself over someone who only has time when he wants to? Am I just a backup option?” The right man doesn’t stir up these thoughts in a woman.
Tip 4, making you jealous
This manipulative tactic is one of the worst. It might involve posting photos on social media or putting on a little show with another woman, right in front of you. This behaviour comes across as childish and immature. Knowingly causing someone pain and wanting them to feel jealous is really wrong. Bolder manipulative types will even flirt with one of your friends. The advice here is clear: it’s better to end the relationship, otherwise you may become part of a manipulative game with no limits.
💡 Tip: Also take a look at our dating site comparison or the article about first dates.
Tip 5, playing the victim
Do you feel under pressure because he constantly has mental and physical problems? When you have a kind heart, this isn’t easy to face. Stirring up feelings of pity and sympathy to win your attention is also a manipulative tactic. Through this behaviour he tries to get you to do what he wants. Learn to say NO. Go for a coffee with your friends and talk it through with them. It doesn’t hurt to know what the people around you think and, if need be, to ask for advice.
Tip 6, where you meet
Where you meet is a fairly clear sign of how to tell if he’s just playing with me and only wants sex. It has probably happened to all of us at some point, and taking off the rose-tinted glasses and becoming aware of yourself will definitely help. Be alert if you only ever meet in these places and mostly remember sex:
- at his (or your) flat, ideally in bed
- at a hotel
- at a country cottage, ideally in bed
- in the car
- an out-of-the-way café
- late-night bars
All these places invite sex. Search your conscience and honestly ask yourself: “Is it just about sex?” Things will become a little clearer. Try giving him space and see whether he’ll go out for breakfast with you, pop out for lunch during the working day or simply want to go for a walk.
Tip 7, uncover a fake relationship by asking questions
That’s right, ladies. Don’t be afraid to ask him and try to talk. We’re good at talking, and besides, you’re at a point where you’re wondering whether it’s really love on his side or a fake relationship. But how can I tell if he’s just playing with me? Ask him one of the following questions and check where you stand. Don’t hesitate any longer!
1. Will we meet up with my friends and family too?
A short question with a short answer. There should be no excuses. A man who loves you will be glad to meet your family and friends. He looks forward to meeting them and wants to know who matters to you.
2. Where would you like to go with me?
If the answer you get is: “Preferably to bed, and somewhere we’ll be alone,” you’re probably dealing with a man who enjoys sex with you but doesn’t want to go out in public. Suggest going somewhere cultural or perhaps to a sauna. A man who wants to be with you will make time during the day as well and will be happy to be seen with you in public.
3. What do you like most about me?
We know that men notice looks first. Nothing new there. We also want to be attractive to men and want them to like us. Nevertheless, it matters to us that a man sees us as a whole person and not just by our looks. Be aware of how a man sees you and whether he treats you the way you deserve, with respect and esteem. The right man can praise a woman’s inner beauty and also pay her a nice compliment about her looks. I consider these answers to be warning signs:
❌ “I like your sexy breasts best. Can I touch them?”
❌ “Your legs are the best! I can’t wait to be between them.”
❌ “You know you’re sexiest all over! I want to cuddle you again.”
❌ “I like your tummy best. I want to take your T-shirt off.”
💡 Answers like these clearly answer the question: “How can I tell if he’s just playing with me?” That’s because they focus only on looks and make it obvious that he wants sex.
Honesty will get you furthest…
Follow your female intuition and don’t be afraid to talk about the problem. Be honest with him and expect the same from him. Simply ask a direct question and don’t beat about the bush. A broken heart does hurt for a while. And even though coming to terms with a break-up may seem like a heavy burden, a future beside a toxic person will never be what you deserve. Find your inner strength and be content in your life.
