For many women, a relationship with a younger man can be an attractive idea, but it will not suit everyone as well as they expect. Like everything else, this type of relationship has some disadvantages. Do you want to find out whether it is the right choice for you?
The short answer. A relationship with a younger man involves the same things as any other relationship, but you will face comments from other people more often, and you may each be at a different stage of life when it comes to children, career, money and health. In a survey by psychologist Justin Lehmiller, women who were more than ten years older than their partner were the most satisfied with their relationship of the three groups studied. In one American study, a larger age gap was linked to a higher risk of divorce, but this is an inconclusive result from a single online study, and the link did not appear in some of the calculations.
Table of contents
How common are relationships where the woman is older
According to the Czech Statistical Office (Český statistický úřad), the bride is older in one in five marriages (22%, average for 2019 to 2023). In two thirds of couples (67%), the man was older, and in ten per cent of marriages, both were the same age.
Women who think they are unattractive have worse relationships
What a man feels for his mistress: 5 emotions and what research saysHowever, most couples differ in age by only a few years, and more than half of newlyweds (52%) are no more than three years apart. A gap of ten or more years is rare: according to the same data, only 13% of all marriages had one.
One group stands out. When a divorced or widowed woman marries a single man, the bride is older in more than half of cases (52%). The figures were published by Terezie Štyglerová of the Czech Statistical Office (ČSÚ) in April 2025.
What it is like abroad
In the United States, according to census data, couples where the woman is ten or more years older make up only 1.3% of marriages. The figure is cited by psychologist Justin Lehmiller of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.
Marriage statistics also do not capture couples who live together without marrying, so they show only some relationships. Even so, they make it clear that a relationship with an older woman is not an exception but an ordinary part of Czech marriage statistics.
What to expect from a relationship
Before entering any relationship, we should be aware of what we are actually getting into. Many people find a relationship just to fill an emptiness inside them. This leads to an unhealthy dependence on the partner, which creates a toxic relationship. If you long for closeness, be clear about what you really expect from it. If you are ready for a relationship, you will not drag old hurts from past relationships into it, and you will be open and genuine. Love is a beautiful thing, but it also brings certain commitments. You have to look after a relationship, put the best of yourself into it and keep it in balance. Not everyone who wants to be in a relationship is truly ready for one. It is work like any other, and it does not pay to slack off.
A relationship with a younger man
Why would anyone want this kind of relationship? There are several answers. Some women want to feel younger next to their partner, or they get on better with a younger man than with older ones. In the age of online dating, it may not even be that difficult. There are many younger men on social media and dating sites who are themselves interested in a relationship with an older woman. A special case is a relationship based on a financial arrangement, in which an older woman supports a younger partner financially. Such a woman is called a sugar mama, and this is not a typical partnership but more of an arrangement. If you are not sure whether your partner is serious, these tips on how to tell if someone is just playing with you can help.
Whatever the reasons, here are the pros and cons of a relationship with a younger man.
+ New energy
A younger partner can bring new energy into your life. If you are quite energetic yourself, you may finally feel that you are on the same wavelength as someone, because your partner may not want to spend his free time at home but will want to enjoy himself.
– New energy
Although we have said that new energy is a great change, for some people it may be more of a disadvantage. If you have not been brimming with energy for some time, its arrival may be exhausting for you. A different pace on weekdays and at weekends can then be tiring. For some, this is good news, but not everyone can keep up with such a pace. So think carefully about whether something like this would be a burden or a gain in your life.
+ Physical attraction
For some women, physical attraction also plays a role, and they simply find a younger partner attractive. However, attraction is a matter of taste, and it does not automatically rise or fall with age. Looks are not everything, and above all, your partner should be attractive to you. If it were mainly about showing him off and making others jealous, it could be unpleasant for him, because he would feel more like a trophy than “the one“.
– You are not his age
You know that, of course. The point is that other women are his age, and you may worry that he will be attracted to someone younger than you. You may feel that you do not match his ideal and that you are too old for him, but that may not be true. You chose each other, and couples of all ages know the fear of breaking up.
+ Attention and adventure to liven up the relationship
After years, some partners have a settled lifestyle and prefer peace and quiet. A younger man may bring more enthusiasm for trying new things into the relationship. He may plan surprises for you, invite you to romantic dinners and fulfil whatever you wish for. He may be more open to spontaneous ideas, trips and an active life. If that is what you are looking for, a younger partner may suit you, but what matters is the personality of the individual, not just age.
– Other people’s views of your relationship
Many people look down on a relationship between an older woman and a younger man. You may therefore get unpleasant looks in the street and jealous comments from acquaintances and strangers, but these do not have to put you off. You chose this relationship for a reason, and it would be a shame to throw it away because of other people’s opinions. We describe how to respond to comments below in the section How to respond to comments. Focus mainly on what the relationship gives you.
Other people’s prejudices and how to deal with them
Unpleasant comments are not just your imagination. According to psychologist Justin Lehmiller, who summarised the research in an article for Psychology Today, people judge couples with an age gap more harshly when the woman is older than when the man is older.
Other people’s attitudes matter more than it seems. Lehmiller and psychologist Christopher Agnew of Purdue University followed 215 people in relationships for seven months. Those who felt at the start that the people around them disapproved of their relationship were less committed to their partner and more likely to have broken up by the end of the study. The study looked at couples in general, not just those with an age gap.
This does not mean that the fault lies with you. It simply means that it is worth not letting others decide for you and having a few calm answers ready.
How to respond to comments
You do not have to respond to every comment. It helps if you and your partner agree in advance on what you will tell whom and where the limit is.
- Consider who is talking. You do not need to reply to a stranger’s comment at all, but it is worth talking calmly with people close to you.
- Agree with your partner on how you will respond to comments so that you have each other’s backs.
- One short sentence is enough, for example: “We are happy together and we made the decision ourselves.” Then you can close the subject.
- Give your family time. Parents and children get used to a new partner gradually, and their first reaction may not be their last.
- If the comments keep coming, you have the right to say that you do not want to discuss your relationship any further. It helps to learn to say no and set your own boundaries.
Also spend time with people who take your relationship for granted. You do not have to prove anything to anyone.
What research says about satisfaction and stability
Psychologist Justin Lehmiller studied women who are older than their partner directly. In a survey of around 200 heterosexual women in relationships, he compared women significantly older than their partner (by 22 years on average) with women significantly younger than their partner and with women of a similar age to their partner.
He described the result in these words: “Women who were more than ten years older than their partners were actually the most satisfied with and the most committed to their relationships.” In the article, he refers to his 2008 study with Christopher Agnew in the journal Psychology of Women Quarterly.
However, this is a small sample and a single study. Lehmiller himself offers only possible explanations, for example that the woman’s older age balances power in the relationship. So the result does not say that a relationship with a younger man is better, only that it can be a happy one.
Age gap and divorce
A common worry is whether such a relationship will last. In 2015, economists Andrew Francis-Tan and Hugo Mialon of Emory University described an online survey of more than 3,000 Americans who had ever been married in the journal Economic Inquiry. According to them, a larger difference in age and education between spouses was linked to a higher risk of divorce.
However, the result is weaker than the media present it. The study mainly looked at the cost of the wedding and the ring, and respondents signed up themselves through an internet platform. The often cited 3%, 18% and 39% higher risk of divorce for a gap of one, five and ten years is a recalculation of a single hazard ratio from a subsample of recently married people, and in other models the link was smaller or not significant.
Satisfaction over time
More detailed data came from economists Wang-Sheng Lee and Terra McKinnish, who analysed 13 years of data from 7,682 Australian households. McKinnish, of the University of Colorado Boulder, summed up the result: “Women are particularly dissatisfied when they have an older husband, and particularly satisfied when they have a younger husband.”
There is a catch, though. According to the same study, satisfaction in couples with a large age gap falls faster over the years of marriage than in couples of a similar age, and the initial advantage fades after roughly six to ten years. The effect was stronger during financial difficulties. McKinnish suggests that couples of a similar age may find it easier to agree on major life decisions.
Research does not set a universal ideal age gap between partners. What the data mainly say about large gaps is that they are rare and that satisfaction in such relationships falls faster over the years than among couples of a similar age.
PartnerELITE Date, a dating site from a Prague companyRegistration is free, while messaging and premium features are paid. It is run by ELITE Date s.r.o., and you will see the price list after registering.Go to ELITE Date registration ›There is a practical lesson here for you. Talk about money, housing and plans before a crisis comes, not once you are in one. We explain how in our article on why communication between partners matters. If you already doubt whether the relationship has a future, go through 15 signs that a relationship has no future.
Different life stages
An age gap is not a problem in itself. Difficulties can arise when each of you is at a different stage of life and wants something different from the coming years. The bigger the gap, the more such points there may be.
Alongside compatibility and chemistry between partners, it is therefore worth discussing three areas: children, career and money, and health.
Children
The most sensitive question is usually whether you want children and when. If you already have children and do not plan any more, while your partner is only starting to think about having their own, say so openly as early as possible. Neither of you should hope that the other will change their mind over time.
If you both want children, bear in mind that fertility declines with age. The UK’s NHS advises couples to see a doctor if they have not conceived after a year of trying, but recommends that women aged 36 and over go sooner. A gynaecologist can talk you through your specific options.
Questions for couples that bring you closer or reveal your differences can also help you open up these topics.
Career and money
When one partner is ten years further along in life, they are often at a different point in their work and income too. One may have largely paid off their mortgage and have a stable job, while the other is just starting out or changing careers. That is not a problem in itself, but it is a good idea to agree on how you will cover shared expenses.
A monthly spending plan helps, with each of you contributing as agreed, for example in proportion to your income. A difference in income, however, should not mean a difference in power.
If your partner makes decisions about your money, controls who you see or belittles you, the issue is not the age gap but control. You can read more about it in our article on the most common types of manipulation in a relationship. Help is available from a local crisis helpline or domestic abuse helpline (in the Czech Republic: 24-hour helpline 116 006, Bílý kruh bezpečí, for all victims, or 116 016, ROSA, for women). If you are in danger, call your local emergency number: 112 in Europe, 911 in the USA and Canada, 999 in the UK (in the Czech Republic: 158 or 112).
Health and ageing
With a large age gap, the question of who will look after whom comes up sooner or later. In relationships with an older woman, there is one statistical quirk. Women born in the Czech Republic in 2025 can expect to live 5.7 years longer than men on average (Czech Statistical Office (ČSÚ) 2025). If the partner is roughly that much younger, the difference evens out, and with a bigger age gap it reverses.
An average, however, tells you nothing about a particular couple. Talk openly about how you want to spend your old age, whether you will care for your parents and what would happen if one of you became seriously ill.
How to plan the future when the gap is large
The bigger the gap, the more it pays to plan out loud. That does not mean mapping out your whole life in advance, but discussing how each of you imagines the next five, ten and twenty years. If you feel both excitement and doubt about the relationship, read about what an ambivalent relationship means and how to handle it.
When talking about the future, it is worth going through these questions.
- Children: whether you want them, how many and when.
- Housing: where you want to live and whose name will be on the tenancy agreement or in the land register.
- Work and retirement: what you will do when one of you stops working many years earlier.
- Care for your parents and for each other if one of you falls ill.
- Money: a joint account, savings and what happens to your property if one of you dies.
Inheritance when you are not married
If you live together without being married, an unmarried partner does not inherit by law in the same way as a husband or wife. Under Section 1636 of the Civil Code (občanský zákoník), they inherit only in the second class of heirs, that is, only if the deceased’s descendants do not inherit. They must have lived with the deceased in a shared household for at least one year before their death and, for that reason, have looked after the shared household or been financially dependent on the deceased. They then inherit in equal shares with the deceased’s parents.
If the deceased has descendants, an unmarried partner inherits nothing without a will. If you want to provide for your partner, make a will and seek advice from a notary or lawyer. A free legal advice service can also give you a basic overview.
Before you decide
It is a good idea to think about this topic before it becomes a reality. Set your priorities and compare them with what a relationship with a younger partner would bring. It is not for everyone, but it may suit some people. Above all, do what makes you happy in life.
